Travelling signature

I believe in time travel....
I hope after this, you will believe together with me.

There are days i stare, my eyes, these brown searching eyes knock on unopened doors,
peep through the empty key holes of existence just to see beyond what lies in front of me.
I've been to places my physical self either only dreams of or anticipates to be.
I've stared into my daughters eyes numerous times: yet she is still awaiting to be ushered into life by two spirit beings wrapped in flesh to celebrate God and welcome her home. Yes, spirit beings because we really are so much spirit, flesh is just an add on.
I've held her soft unscathed hands in my experienced palm, watched her tiny fingers and palm move on mine as i think,
your skin is part of mine.
I've walked on sandy shores alone: praying, speaking, laughing, crying, all without leaving the focus of my blank stare.
I've gone to the past,
remembering failed friendships and relationships, fights with my family as the present me just stands there and watches me, not angrily, but with a sombre gaze and a warm whisper 'it will all make sense.' to crack the icy world the past me had crafted.
I remember growing up with naivety and genius both intertwined in the crevices of my mind.
Memories of my first drinking spree with my friends rush in this one stare,
dark hallway, drink in hand, lady in sight but how i forfeited the lady i had eyes on for the one i could place my hand on.
I remember the fights, the blood flying slowly as if to the sound of slow opera, almost like art, and how my almost numbed heart had loved it.
I remember the friends lost from the snare of cold words,
words that i had allowed to shape me, to craft me,
words that sub-consciously were taking the place of my breath,
my lungs were filled with poisoned words received and just like air, they too found their way out.
I remember slipping out of class when young, sitting in the gents with a knife caressing my wrist as class went on,
and going back to class with a smile like nothing had happened.
See in a quick but short stare i remember the journey, i remember the past and hide in the future knitting together these two threads of reality with the thread of my present.
I remember repentance, unmerited forgiveness for me and in the depth of the mist that i had lived in
I could finally see light and how it all fits in:
seeing my daughter struggle to feel physically loved to quench emotional and spiritual thirst and i know right then why i craved the same.
I see my son come home angry with blood on his shirt and i know why i was the same.
On some days It hurt to be me yet in the prism of life Gods light sheds abroad and i see the bigger, beautiful picture.
I hear 'daddy why do i have to go through this?' and in joy i see that i can finally have an answer, not to all their questions but to those God allowed me to live in.

I learn to love my purpose-full tears as we are called to be the salt of the earth and no wonder, my tears have the largest components of salt. Who would have known they carried healing!

I see my wife, her in her splendor and glow, radiant and the envy of all precious jewels, i see her beyond the smile and beyond the frown, i see her, beyond, yet here.
I revel in our journey, separate and together even before we say i do,
similar yet different; birthed together in the womb of purpose and Agape.

I see the future, it is close, as close as two strangers smiling not knowing they will journey together,
close though it may feel never reaching.
I know why my scars exist but i know why my smile does as well.

God made it for you. We were made for testimony, bearing witness to intricately woven strands of grace piecing together our past, present and future.
With every prick of life's needle, i shall bear the pain, the hurt, the laughs so well hidden in the mines of life that i was so afraid to enter not knowing all that would encompass me were explosions of joy.

See, I believe in time travel.  As i sat here, staring at the thickets outside my window get battered by the rain, i couldn't help but notice something beautiful. Something that felt like poetry when i saw leaves cradle droplets of rain, gently; mother-like, releasing drop by drop to the earth in a slow but incandescent manner. Indeed, time stood still. I couldn't help but feel like the drop of rain commissioned to strike at the heart of the soil, leaving the signature of the cloud that sent me, one day to return to the very clouds having fulfilled all i was meant to, not just for me, but for where i was gently dropped.

I remember when it hit me like a gush of cold wind that for you, i shall bear the soil, the winds and the boots, if just to water you and i remember when i loved to know that.

As i sit here, I believe in time travel, the purpose of all things merging

merging together that i may be a signature of my Cloud.