LIFE GIVING SPIRIT

     I have never understood this statement with more fervor than i have this week. I have drunk of the world and yet still feel drier than ever. It is as though i was drinking drought with taste buds craving rain, taste buds that know the difference for they have tasted the taste of rain. Any moment outside the presence of God, even a slight moment, feels like death. Have you ever felt that way? As though you're being suffocated even though you're surrounded by what looks like brilliance and celebration? Well, if there is something that has helped me put these feelings into perspective it is 1st Corinthians 15:45 which says 'The first man Adam became a living being (an individual personality); the last Adam (Christ) became a life-giving spirit (restoring the dead to life)

     What does it mean life giving spirit? Does it mean that without Him we have no life? Does He have to give us life for us to have life? Are all things dead without Him thus restoring the dead to life? The answers to these questions are yes and unashamedly so. Even the biggest successes we can ever have in life are dead without Jesus. 

     This week i finally got my certificate in Inclusive Leadership; a course i had taken to equip me on what is to be a long, tiring but fulfilling journey on the path to being fully ingrained in leadership. I was happy, but i did not celebrate. I wondered why. In the very same week, at my work place, i managed to have the breakfast show i host as a top trend for 3 consecutive days. I was glad seeing as i had been quite low in the days leading up to that. I was glad, yes, but i did not have joy as a result of it. 

     On Thursday, during my spontaneous conversations with God, i heard these words in my spirit, 'you will not trend tomorrow.' I thought i had heard my own things and i even tried to rebuke that voice but somehow i had peace about it because it sounded like the tone a father would speak with to a son He loves and wants to give a heads up to. Come Friday, i put in the same amount of work as i did during the week and to some extent even more but i never saw what my eyes were eager to see. 1 hour down, 2 hours, 3 hours, 4. The show was over, What i had heard came true. It actually felt as though there was a hand putting a ceiling on all my efforts. It felt so tangible. My heart dipped but i remembered a conversation with my boss the day before and how i told Him God will at some point ensure that we do not trend so as to test our hearts. Who knew it would be this soon? Don't get me wrong, it may sound like i am making a big deal out of something 'worldly' but in my field, this is gold. I even had my overall boss summon me the day before and tell me good job, something many, including myself, were surprised by and yes it felt good but i still had no joy. There was something mussing and in this one day God did test my heart and i found out something that the Lord wanted me to learn again practically and not just theoretically: He is the only source of my joy. affirmation, and the only source of that which gives me life. I feel dead without Him and as a matter of fact i am. 

     In this one week of many highs, i have still felt dry. Some would wonder why or how but i know it is because i miss my moments with God in my very own 'cool of the day' and at times i feel there are places and situations when i am separate from Him yet He does not go away. He is there but not there and this is not done in abandonment but to show me His standard of Holiness and for me to seek Him even more.

     As i write this, i look at almost every aspect of my life and the trend (no pun intended) is the same. I feel dead in every area when i am not in constant fellowship with God. The times i fellowship with my own worries, i partake from the death giving spirit. I surrender my life and receive death in return. I worry about whether i will amount to anything career wise and as a man, whether i will be a good husband, whether i am going to have enough money to soon provide for my wife and i or even pay for the wedding with no hassles and so many other thoughts. Most of my days are spent wishing i could just lay flat in the tangible presence of God forever and do nothing but drink of Him but that is not ordained for a life on earth but one in eternity. Here, we must work to bring the kingdom to the earth, we must be sanctified, we must be consecrated, we must endure for His sake in the same way we crave to glory for His sake and in a world where we have been called to be salt, things can end up being so overwhelming that we crave to remain in that salt shaker. I need the life that only Jesus has. This life calms me, it steadies my heart, it is my only source of sanity, it keeps me Holy and helps me overcome. It gives me joy.    

     I have never had a desire to be famous and i still don't. My desire is to live for the Lord and to love Him ever so deeply as my years go by. However, as reminded by my friend and colleague Jessy, God does say He will make our name great. I am all for that but the problem is that most times we substitute God for us and instead live life with the mantra 'I will make my name great.' There is one that makes names great because His is the name above EVERY other name. If i had a choice, i would want to spend eternity with God now so that i never have to feel dead again even when success or its doppelgangers surround me but i have been put on earth for a reason, tough days and less tough days and the only thing that will give me joy is to have the life of Jesus living in me. I am unashamed of the gospel for in it is not only power but to me, in it is life evermore and where there is life there is joy. I am a simple man, i ask for nothing else but to have life and life more abundantly. 

     I write this not as a poet, a leader, a radio personality working to make a name or as any man of any standard, i lay these all aside to show my true disposition as a broken man desperate for the breath of Jesus, the Life giving Spirit to fully dwell in me until it overflows. To breathe life into me, accolades or none, recognition or none, to be forever in the presence of my King, the one i chose because i was chosen when deep in my dead state. I want Him and if all other things pertaining to life are indeed added, they shall be a bonus unto the everything i would have ever wanted, needed, craved and desired, and i will lay them down at His feet, always. What more do you need when you have the source and sustainer of all life living in you? All other ground truly is sinking sand, even those that have lifeless castles built upon them and this hollowness has reminded me of the deepest cry of my heart: that i would rather be a temple hidden away in a desert but full of the life of God than a castle built with the most precious of jewels and visited by all the worlds kings yet have not the life of God in me.

     So come Holy Spirit, dwell in me. Take me deeper into the heart of the Father, into the life giving spirit, into the place of my joy and desire, into my utmost prize. You say if i shall seek you with all of my heart you shall be found. Today, i seek you again and i crave to find you. You have laid before me the path to life and death and you have asked me to choose life, to choose you. I do. It truly does start with me. 

Roles are dung without love

To ask one to love is to ask them to sacrifice and to sacrifice is not a task given to shame or belittle someone but it is a roaring call to nobility where the ultimate prize is Jesus himself in all His glory and splendor.

Many times we see ourselves as men on a task oriented basis. Provider, Protector, Priest, Prophet, Intercessor and many more titles that come attached to Christian men like price tags on supermarket items. These roles and responsibilities are not wrong really but most times they are seen as obligations other than beautifully knit pieces of who God made man to be. Ultimately we were all created for worship and these things are part and parcel of what it means to worship God even as we relate with each other.

Love is one of the most, if not the most interesting phenomenon that has ever existed. This is the core of the Christian faith: how an infallible all powerful God would come down and dwell among men in the form of His son so as to deliberately die for them (DIE) so that they may not be eternally separated from Him. Christianity made us wannabe lovers of old just call it quits. How do you top that? You don’t! Well Jesus never died for us to create competition for who can do the most loving thing and have guys try to knock Him off the perch. He did so to show us a divine example, the heart of the Father, to introduce us to the everlasting principle of love.

Now, husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church. Hmm, we quote this endlessly, don’t we? There are so many layers to this statement; all Holy, all fulfilling, all divine, yet rarely seen for what it really is, on some days even by me.

What does it mean to love your wife as a husband? Well, I’m not yet there but in a few months we can have this discussion, haha. Sincerely though, this is not a plastic sense of love that is put in place when you are finally pronounced husband and wife. It is a cultured and nurtured process that grows during dating and courtship so as to function in consecration when in marriage.

The Bible has numerous mirrors for us who are not yet married so as to prepare us on that divinely set aside part of life. It shows us how the love of God looks like and even feels like not just as couples but as people who were created in His image and after His likeness. Verses such as Ephesians 3:17-19 paint a brilliant picture of this and we should use it as a template of how to practice the gift of love.

Over time I have learned that love finds expression in God and not outside of it and its beauty should not be used for idolatry. The first instance of the term love is a strange one. God tells Abraham in Genesis 22:2 to sacrifice his son, the son that Abraham loves. Well, people would argue that if you love, you protect from harm but there is such a deep revelation here that shows us the nature of God as love, a love that does not harm. It is said that Abraham knew that God would have the ability to bring Isaac back (Hebrews 11:17-19) and really, Abraham believed in God so deeply. Sometimes as men we want to be seen as goody two shoes even in the presence of God. Having love express itself in idolatry beats the whole purpose of love. This is not to say do not protect the person you love, that in itself is not Christ like but to lay our love at the feet of God is to trust that His heart will judge what is best for ours. He matters most and He loves your Isaac more than you do. After all, our hearts are such that God has to always stop the knife from entering our Isaac’s almost every day albeit in different circumstances.

Also, love covers a multitude of sins. Forgiveness is a huge part of manhood not just in marriage but even in relating to ladies as sisters, girlfriends or as a fiancée. Men think and express themselves differently from women. I’ve noticed that as men we can be so hard faced even when a lady tries to help us loosen up. We like to have things go our way, and don’t want to feel intimidated by their proposals of change because that may make it feel like we don’t have things under control. If you’re not like this and I’m just describing myself that is also fine.  It is imperative that we don’t try to make our ladies men. They were made as they are for a purpose and to show a unique revelation about God that as men we can never portray. In times of arguments, let’s not rub our masculinity in their faces and say primitive statements like ‘I’m the man. Submit to me if you know what’s good for you!’ She knows you’re the man, but you may disprove that if you show her all you are is a male. There is a reason why love is said to cover. It does not highlight or put it in the public gallery the sins of others for personal gain. Even if the gallery is just two hearts, never show your lady that you will be quick to expose her flaws. Christ covers the church. Funny enough I have never seen a scripture in the Bible where Christ is barraging the church and calling it names and saying He is done with it. Interesting huh?

Last but definitely not least; all the titles I had mentioned above are useless without a heart of love. To be a provider, protector, priest, prophet, all the other P’s that are mentioned etc but not have a heart of love is worth nothing. That will just relinquish us to be bodyguards who protect, ATM’s that pour money or jackets that provide warmth, even over protective stalkers who ‘just want their best interests’. To love is to be invested, deeply, truthfully, and with God sight. If the Bible can say that even if you can tell mountains to jump into the sea and they do it but you have not love you have nothing, then that is such a big statement. If that didn’t strike a nerve, then how about this: even if I give my body to be burnt and have not love, I have nothing. Roles and titles are but a structured expression of love, they were not meant to avoid love. It is not enough to do all these things yet you know you have not genuine love. It was not a coincidence that in John 3:16 it starts with for God so loved the world….. It does not start with ‘God gave His son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life’ Christ is able to play His beautiful role in the life of the Church not because that is His job description but because He loves. I would that before trying to pick up roles and responsibilities, we pick up genuine love and if we don’t know how, we have the perfect example in Jesus, the man that no other man can compete with in the area of love.

Remember, to love is to sacrifice and to sacrifice is not a task given to shame or belittle someone but it is a roaring call to nobility and divinity where the ultimate prize is having Jesus himself in all His glory and splendor as the eternal lover of our souls.

So my fellow men, you know the drill, it starts with us.

EMANCIPATION

     Recently I was re-reading the letters of Willie Lynch as well as the thoughts by Frederick Douglass on how to make a slave. It has been sort of a binge week for me; writing my book, reading poems from authors I love and learning about influential people that I had never heard of such as John Bowley, a slave that was granted his freedom but in secret, bought his wife at an auction and as a result, set her free. My mind has been tinkering of late especially in the area of the word emancipation and what it looks like in the world today. In the most basic explanation, emancipation is to free one from slavery. To be emancipated, one must have been enslaved to something or someone. 

     Bob Marley sung; 'Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.' Lyrics drenched in depth indeed. This has been my state of mind for a couple of years but has been even more accentuated this week, especially where he says 'Emancipate yourself.' This may sound ironic when we revisit the fact that emancipation is the state of someone being set free from enslavement and most times, the person doing the enslavement is not the slave.

     So does this statement make sense? It absolutely does.

     When reading an excerpt from Frederick Douglass, i saw the state in which the concept of family was thoroughly broken during the times of slavery. The men would be beaten in front of their wives and in some cases, their children as well. This was to show the woman that her source of protection is helpless and cannot protect either her or their children and the only thing to do was to submit to enslavement. This method of torture was psychological more than it was physical. In the instinctive pattern of the woman to nurture and protect her own, she would teach her daughters to be independent and not depend on a man who may one day be taken away from her but to instead grow in independence and the boys would be taught not to question or think outside the box because if they did, they may risk death. So they were encouraged to be physically strong but mentally caged. Remember, the woman was not being malicious but was trying to protect her own in the best way that she could at the time.

     Over time, the sediments of slavery have been less visible but still catastrophic.

     Let's take the genre of Hip Hop. For so many years, there was a sense of emancipation that resonated in this genre with groups such as NWA, artists such as Common, Talib Kweli, and Lauryn Hill. Their music burst forth what it felt like to be free or to desire a sense of freedom. If you look at the very same scene, things are very different today. I can't help but notice some similarities today with what Frederick Douglass highlighted on such as Men who flaunt their physiques in videos as opposed to speaking out content that is edifying and even Women speaking of how they do not need men. Today independence is one of the most consistent talks in ladies' circles. I doubt many men and women actually know the root of what has brought us to where we are now.

     Away from the media, let's look at Kenya. Tribalism has been rampart in this country since we achieved independence, which many argue in light of today was not really achieved fully, but our masters just changed and look like us, talk like us then hide behind the guise of the words 'us'. Who knew the words of Willie Lynch would make sense in a country such as ours albeit in a slightly different dimension? We cannot run from the fact that we have an unfortunate culture of hating each other because of differences that should actually make us appreciate each other’s diversity. 

     The most important part of this for me is this: THIS IS NOT SOMETHING WE DON'T ALREADY KNOW.

So then, since we know this, why is it that nothing is ever being done? Our education systems are archaic and do not encourage creativity or thinking outside the box from a young age, our work places are more places to simply following instructions than an inclusive place to share strengths and proclivities in order to achieve set goals and almost every single institution in this country has either striking employees or unfulfilled ones that would never strike but just work to get money and bury their hopes, dreams or desires? John 10:10 (MSG) says A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and a better life than they have ever dreamed of. Other versions say that I came that they may have life and have it more abundantly, while others even say life until it overflows. If you look around, few look to be living these lives. 

     I believe, just like Willie Lynch had orchestrated, we were thrown in a ring where we each saw the other as a lion and the tunes of kill or be killed have been playing in our ears for generations. I hope that one day, we can be able to agree to halt the charge, boycott the tune and ask each other why we do this to each other. Why we do this to ourselves. There is a type of freedom that will never be achieved unless we emancipate ourselves with the key of love, a love that governs how we relate, how we treat our employees, how we treat those below us and this in itself will trickle down to how they treat themselves. It's about time we stop looking at matters from the lens of who is right and who is wrong and decide to acknowledge that we are enslaving ourselves by how we treat and perceive each other. 

     Men, we need to stand up and show leadership and love to each other and to our women. It is not and will never be easy but true emancipation starts when we choose today to take responsibility and where we can, apologize for our mistakes., It does not make us less of a man to walk up to a brother, colleague, employee and say that you are sorry for seeing them in a certain way. We will never lose anything by making another person feel like they are human by allowing their voice to be heard. Many in this country feel oppressed in one way or the other and the truth is most oppressors know it is their fault. How I pray for a day when those in leadership will sincerely work towards genuine reconciliation with those that they lead and work to have their voices heard and to heal wounds that are very well hidden but still very much bleeding.

     How I pray for a day that we choose to be the bigger person, to take the low route because we know it will never harm us to show a sense of freedom to another. John 8:36 says: So if the Son has liberated you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free. This freedom does not begin when we die but here on earth, to be shared with each other.

     Emancipation is for the humble and for the brave when you realize that it is you, all along, that have enslaved yourself and as a result, your most automatic and natural pattern is to enslave others whether you know it or not. One thing is certain though, it is for freedoms sake that we were ALL made free (Galatians 5:1) To deny that we are/were enslaved is to deny the need for freedom and emancipation. 

     The love of God that goes to a thousand generations should be seen to be more powerful than the makings of a slave that were planned to continue for 300 years. Choose to receive freedom from whatever has enslaved you, choose to show freedom to whomever has felt enslaved by you and let this freedom govern our lives because it starts with us.